The Social Network (2010)

(L-R) Andrew Garfield, Joseph Mazzello, Jesse Eisenberg, and Patrick Mapel
Watch The Social Network trailer

Writer: Aaron Sorkin, based on the book by Ben Mezrich

Director: David Fincher

Notable Actors: Aaron Sorkin, finally (and embarrassingly) indulging in a speaking cameo

First things first, we must remember Aaron Sorkin is American, and thus his name is pronouced as if he were a girl named Erin. Moving on...

Just like the last post, I’m going to begin with a confession. I don’t use facebook. I’ve never used facebook, never even set up an account. I am lambasted by it often by new and casual acquaintances, although thankfully close friends know me well enough to leave the topic, and I’m happy to miss the odd party as all the invites were sent via facebook and nobody remembered to invite Mr Traditional MSN over here.

I find facebook creepy. I found the idea of a facebook movie eyebrow raising and nothing more. Then, like the rest of the world, I heard the genius of Aaron Sorkin was writing the screenplay, and suddenly this film was right in my must-see list, and would’ve been at the top of I weren’t one of the Harry Potter generation. I’ve been a Sorkin fan since my pre-teen years, watching Sports Night reruns on some forgotten and long-defunct satellite channel. I discovered and adored Studio 60 long before I was mature enough to understand the genius of The West Wing, and, well, the American President had Michael J Fox in, so it wasn’t all bad. With The Social Network though, Sorkin has greatly overplayed his hand.

That said, I didn’t notice over two hours had flown by, which in some ways is the mark of a good film. I was utterly absorbed despite, strangely, not finding it within myself to care. Many reviewers have expressed sympathy only for Eduardo, but he has none from me. He took his eye off the army despite knowing they were under attack.

Funny lines weren’t funny, witty lines just weren’t delivered with any of the charm which makes his previous work so incredible. Flip-flops irritated, retribution was minimal, and Oxford lost The Boat Race*. This wasn’t a movie; this was real life. Only slightly better, as there weren’t any kids in those fucking wheeled trainers.

The subtle touches were the best part of a film which makes you, despite yourself, wish you were it’s lead. Not even for the money – sitting in meetings with lawyers, Zuckerberg’s smartass comebacks are what makes you wish you were him, though it’s hard to believe the computer geek’s so linguistically skilled in real life. Hey, maybe I’m just being pretentious. In fact, I know I am. How much of this film is Sorkin and how much is the battle to have teenagers sound like teenagers? Sorkin said himself he gave up and wrote them as he would any other character, which is a snivelling withdrawal for a man held in such high regard. Fuck if your audience understands it, slip in contemporary slang without explanation. It just grows irritating otherwise.

Although I cannot say without a second viewing, I do feel a second viewing of this film would just make one irate. I am in no doubt that it will zoom to the top of the best sellers list upon DVD release, but I will wonder why it’s there. Would I, for the most obvious example, have actually gotten something out of this movie if I was familiar with the site upon which its story is based? 

But, sadly, that’s my point exactly – Sorkin drew me into the worlds of late night TV and politics to such an extent both remain intense pastimes when I can afford the time for them. This film doesn’t make me want to use facebook, it merely confirms every single conclusion I have already come to about using it. I don’t want any of those fuckers to have my money. I should've been able to get something out of this without needing background knowledge first. This movie just doesn’t stand alone. If it’s a footnote on Sorkin’s obituary, it will simply be because Zuckerberg made it so.

* The Winklevoss twins rowed in Oxford’s boat this year and we beat the bastards. For me Cambridge’s light blues are a love affair similar to what the common man has with his football team. This, admittedly, was my prevailing thought throughout a majority of the film.